So, this guy who is a friend of mine just called and asked if we could catch up over dinner sometime soon. I hastily said yes and we ended our phone call. Immediately after hanging up, I realized that this was a code for, 'Would you please go out on a date with me?'
Here is why I wish I had said no, or perhaps asked him to come out with a bunch of friends. BECAUSE HE IS SOCIALLY AWKWARD AND CREEPY. Is that enough information for you? Or do I need to describe exactly how awkward he is? He is not very technologically savvy, so I doubt he would read this. But if I wrote of the mortifying circumstances he underwent in my presence, it would be terribly embarrassing to him and I would hate to crush his pride. In short, he made an awkward advance towards me and I shut him down.
Now, because I ALREADY shut him down, I assumed that he was done with his attempt to woo me. However, I fear that if I accept his invitation for dinner that he will drone on about all the amazing awards and accolades that make him super human. He will show me pictures of himself climbing difficult routes and he will raise his eyebrows in awe of himself. Not once, but repeatedly. He will touch me and I will cringe. He may even try to lay his haughty and vainglorious lips upon my own. And as aversion courses through my veins, I will loathe the day I ever let the phrase, 'Sure, that sounds great' escape my lips.