Sunday, January 11, 2009

Three Significant Events

I asked my friend the other day what the three most significant events of his life were. Heavy question. Not necessarily life-changing events, but life-defining. Perhaps it was a choice you made or something you encountered in your life that clarified your ideas and ways of living. Perhaps it changed everything.

Here are my three:

The failure of my marriage and the restoration of my friendship with my ex-husband. There were so many tiny facets of this situation that created infinite lessons. I overcame shame. I learned the value of communication. I learned independence. I lost friends and slowly built up a new family of friendships. I discovered forgiveness. I lost the treacherous fairytale image of marriage.

Walking with Rob through cancer treatment. I gained perspective and learned to develop priorities. Things that used to seem important no longer were. I learned that when you are in a dire circumstance, you can only do what you can do. There are things that can't be changed and there is no use struggling against them. I learned that humor can get you through the day. I learned how important faith is in my life.

I am having such a hard time agreeing on the third. I am not quite sure what situation was life-defining for me. I suppose choosing to go to Western State was a huge one. I am fairly sure it led to every relationship and every decision I made. Becoming a teacher has been a wonderful journey. Growing up in a deaf family and having responsibility from a young age. Dating Max and Rob F. also taught me about balance, communication, the character of men, the character of women, and about what kind of partner complements me best.

This is a great question. Perhaps one day when I am resigned to be a member of, I will ask this question of the curious men who fall prey to my profile.

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