Monday, April 23, 2007


I first fell in love with storms while I was flying in an airplane. We were flying above the clouds and just a little way off in the distance, I watched a storm. I never saw the lightning bolts, but the way the light illuminated the clouds was breathtaking. And even now, I can't take my eyes away from a good storm. There is something about the awesome power... the incredible noise and the stunning vision. I love the not-knowing, too. The air is on edge but you have no idea where it is going to strike. It is the most poetic and beautiful picture I think I've ever seen. I could sit outside for hours in the rain, just watching the storm surround me.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Losing Out

Today I lost my best friend. Not in the way that many people have lost their best friend... but I'm not sure it was any easier.

I remember when I first fell in love with my husband. He and I were relaxing one day. And he spent a long while looking at my armpits. He traced his finger across my skin and just looked for a while. I know. Sounds kind of nasty. But I realized then that if he loved the nastiest part of me, then he was a keeper. We had a wonderful relationship. My best friend. My partner in crime. My confidant. And it is a beautiful thing to be so comfortable with someone.

And now I look at where this beautiful thing has gone. I realize I created most of the damage. I can't begin to express my sorrow over this. I lost the most valuable thing in this world. So today, my heart is heavy. And I suppose I'm terrified knowing that I may have lost the last chance I had at being truly loved. Maybe I will never be comfortable with anyone again. I suppose that's the price I paid for not taking care of what I had to begin with.

A new day begins tomorrow...