Sunday, January 13, 2013

Get OUT The Way

Ok. This post is a story about being a pregnant girl who has to pee. And the reason I'm writing about it is because it surprised me since I have a bladder of steel. A teacher's bladder. One that will last the entire day without so much as a suggestion of fullness.

So here it is. Yesterday, I went swimming. I had a 30-minute workout, so I made sure to go before I jumped in the pool. Every six laps, I would stop and drink and by the time I got out, I had to pee BAD. So I went, of course. Then I showered, got dressed, and drove FIVE minutes to the grocery store. And I had to go AGAIN. What the heck? What is wrong here?!?? This is unearthly. Well, I only had a few items to get... berries, sour cream, orange juice... backtrack to produce to get tomatoes... pressure is building... milk, black beans... crap, I forgot the hummus... WHY IS EVERYONE AT THE COMMISSARY TODAY? Can't you see I'm pregnant? Well, I'm three months, so no you can't, but CAN'T YOU SENSE IT? (One might be asking why I did not just use the restroom at the commissary. Well, because I didn't know where it was and I didn't want to ask. It makes perfect sense, really.) GET OUT OF MY WAY!! Deep breathing... clench muscles... it's all in your mind. Control is within your grasp. Ok, check out, pay, walk to the car. Good job. Controlling it all very well. Super job. Might as well stop to get gas, then. Getting out and pumping gas... hearing the gas gushing into the empty tank... oh, dear... NOT SURE I CAN CONTROL IT SO WELL ANYMORE... then I start SNEEZING! REALLY??!??! Could this get any worse? Yes. Do the dance... tap the foot... sway... more deep breathing... sneeze... look for an empty parking spot near the building... pullthepumpout... sneeze... grabthedamnreceipt... parkclosetothebuilding jumpout runinside trytonotlooklikeyouareinarush...there'sthebathroom!!!... openthedoor... shutthedoor... oh, glory. Glory, glory. Sweet relief. It's a good day. A really, really good day.

What can I say? I have excellent bladder control.

It's A Whole New Ballgame

Happy New Year! It's 2013 and news around town is we are having a baby. A real human. What am I going to do with another human in our house? I don't even know how to frost a cake properly. And, boy, is Wyatt going to be pissed to find out that after having to adapt to having another dog-creature in the house, he's now going to have to share us with a baby.

In all seriousness, though, we are thrilled. After having lost our last one in July of 2012, we were spending the first trimester taking one day at a time and trying not to get our hopes up while still maintaining our excitement for the present blessing. It seems we can relax a bit now, although you never know what life brings your way. Adam is a very excited dad-to-be and couldn't wait another few weeks to share the news, so we shared it with the world at large on social media, where we can read about someone's marriage proposal and another person's creative cat-shaving techniques in mere seconds.

So now I get to experience the adventure of pregnancy. Mine has been great, actually. During the first one, aside from some heartburn and unearthly salivation, I felt great. This one has been different. I've been way more tired... to the point that Adam really had to take over all the packing and arrangements to move back to Colorado. I've also been bugged by afternoon aversion to food that lasts into the evening. It started at about 6 weeks and disappeared around 11 weeks, but it's back again at 13 weeks. Any sort of meat just turns my stomach, so all I really like to eat in the evenings is salad, eggs, bread, and cheese. In fact, cheese is my go-to. Cheese and crackers, mac and cheese, grilled cheese. It's delightful. Until today when I ordered a grilled cheese at Panera. I love Panera! But they filled my grilled cheese with these pallid bits of bacon that ended my excitement of the grilled cheese. Ugh. Pregnant girl's nightmare.

Anyway, the next few weeks will be full of all kinds of fun milestones... kicking and a pregger belly and starting to realize it is all actually happening. Yeesh. It's going to be a wild ride!