Monday, August 25, 2008

Facebook Is Creepy

I hate you Facebook. You use my information to market things to me. When I say I like God, you try to sell me all this Jesus stuff. When I say I like travel, you show me links to all this travel stuff. And the creepiest thing of all is when I say I am single and you put things up that say, "29 and single again?!?"

I hate you Facebook.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Chad Has A Crush On Me

Chad is seven. When I gave him a reading test today, he kept making eyes at me. He was reading about teeth.

"Crocodiles have sharp teeth. RaaaaAAAARRRR!", he said.
And then raised his eyebrows at me and grinned.

"Some snakes have fangs."
He reached over and stuck his pointy fingers into my leg. "I'm venomous!"

"Interesting, Chad," I said, as I prodded him to continue reading.

"Girls these days..." he says, condescendingly.

This is the same kid who sang me "You Are My Sunshine" when I was sick. I love that kid.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Goodnight, Ceiling Fan

I enjoy the bit of independence I have in my life. I get to go climb when I want to and eat late when I want to and work late when I want to. There's no one that depends on me to get home to take care of dinner or anything like that. When I was married, I usually rushed home after work to get dinner going and then I sat on my ass watching TV the rest of the night. Lame.

Today I worked late and then climbed. I came home to take Wyatt out for a while and fixed a super late dinner. So mellow. And there was no responsibility for anyone else. Nice.

But then, when I did come home, it was lonely. No one to talk with about the day. No one to laugh with in the kitchen. No one to tuck into bed with and to kiss goodnight and to feel the warmth of their skin next to me. Well, my dog... not quite the same, right? So I think I stay away as much as I can. I get on my bike or take Wyatt for a run until it's dark. And I quickly fix dinner and then head to bed ignoring all that I miss about having someone there.

It's so nice to have someone there. To sit and breathe together. To have breakfast together or to sit outside near the fire together. Someone to fill up the car with gas while you take care of something else. To bounce ideas off of. To laugh with. To love. And to be loved. I think that's what I miss most about being married to Robert. He really loved me. Of course, that came with a slew of other issues. I began to wonder if it was possible. I didn't think a man could really love a woman. But I know it is possible. Just rare. So maybe the total independence isn't all it's cracked up to be. Ah, life.

Goodnight, then, computer. And dog. And ceiling fan. Goodnight, closet. Goodnight, dishwasher.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Turning Twenty-Nine

Well, on Monday I turn 29. Real 29. Some of you turn 29 year after year. But I think I'll just do it once. I love my age. My twenties have been really wonderful. I started a career that I love. I bought a house. I got married. I learned so much about myself. I became a better climber. I grew into a better person... except for the one year, of course. Twenty-six was a terrible year. I am glad I never have to live those days again.

But I feel fortunate to have learned as much about myself as I know now. I've been through some really difficult times that stretched my character. I wonder if I would have become who I am without those times. Likely not.

I've always looked forward to my thirties. Who knows now whether it will bring what I thought it would bring. Being a twenty-something certainly was worlds different than I expected. But I hope I'm moving into a stage of life that I can settle into... that I can be comfortable in. You know? It's probably my choice, right? I wonder sometimes if I could be comfortable in all the situations I can visualize for my thirties - living here in the states... living in Argentina... being single... being part of a solid relationship... teaching... pursuing something else in the field of education... being a mom or a sort-of-mom

Whatever it is that is in store, I think I've learned that for me to be content in my situation, I have to continue to pursue the things I love - music, travel, climbing, family... really that's it. And if I can avoid getting sidetracked, I'll continue to love the days of my life. And if I can love the days of my life, then growing older will never plague me.

Thursday, August 7, 2008


So, I watched TV today. I had four choices: soap opera, soap opera, soap opera, or Antiques Roadshow. So I watched Antiques Roadshow. They went into this collector's house and he was talking about all his amazing priceless collections. He has these pillars with large marble orbs on top. He has dishes that are shaped like shells and vases of a similar shape. Almost every inch of his house is covered with paintings or dishes. He has bought entire pieces of furniture to house his collections and he has tables he's bought to display his collection of boxes. His bathroom wall is covered in mounted decorative plates.

Really? Really? Do people really enjoy this? Does it make their lives more vibrant? I suppose the finding is somewhat exciting. Finding something rare and the bidding wars. That seems kind of interesting, I suppose. But to actually own it? That would drive me nuts. I can barely stand the amount of things I own now. This man could fill truckloads with the amount of shit he owns. He paid $10,000 for a set of dishes. And this set was comprised of TWO dishes!!!

I myself, am a slight junkie for a beautiful set of dishes. But what I like about it is when I prepare an amazing meal and I set the table and my friends are all around smiling and drinking and laughing. And it all makes a beautiful memory. You know, I'd set a match to that place in no time flat and I wouldn't shed a tear. How do people get that way? I wonder if they have any perspective at all. I would wonder what my simple $10,000 gift could have done for someone who is struggling to pay for an education. Or for a little family who is fighting to pay their mortgage. I wonder if I'll be able to make those decisions someday... "Set of dishes with painted insects... or amazing vacation for me and my family... or give someone else a foot to stand on..."

Disney World... you know what I saw there? A Christmas ornament. A Mickey Christmas ornament in the shape and color of a Jack O'Lantern. Who wants that?!? Insane.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I Love My Days

Today was so stellar!!! I taught guitar all day and ran home to show my house. This GREAT lady seems to be stoked on my house, so I am really stoked to have her here. She seems wonderful. I hope it comes through so I can get my ass north where I belong. Anyway, I climbed with a new amiga, Lisa. She is such a cool woman. Super confident and working through a tough divorce. She's wonderful. And I ate dinner with Vegas. I totally dig my friends. I miss them! Tomorrow morning, Sarah and I are headed out on a hike to the Punch Bowls. I'm super psyched.

I love having days that celebrate every moment. Days that aren't dependant on what anyone else says or does. But days that are filled with people I love. I am super lucky and it makes me glad to be alive.