Monday, October 6, 2008

Some Men Are Very Stupid

Exhibit A: Long-haired professional football players... you don't look good. Whoever told you that you did look good was lying and has fooled you into believing something terrible. Cut your hair.

Exhibit B: The dude who thinks he is so good looking that any girl would fall over themselves just to talk to him. Guess what... it takes more than that. And don't throw the "I'm a bigwig in the military" or "I ski". Girls don't care. Let me rephrase that. Any woman who has handled adversity in her life with dignity will not fall for that. She will see right through you and recognize what a giant tool you are.

Exhibit C: The dudes who lie about themselves. You are 23. All your stories about the jobs you'ved worked and the high-profile experiences you have had are either all lies or exaggerated and you know it. And so do I. I would rather sit down with a total numbskull that is real about himself and his interests and presents himself truthfully than with you.

Exhibit D: The mullet. Seriously? What are you trying to convey?

Exhibit E: The man who ate my lunch out of the refrigerator today. You are going to suffer.

Exhibit F: All the men who have wanted to come talk to my friend, Sarah, because she is beautiful, but haven't because they are intimidated. Get over it. Talk to her. You are making her feel bad.

Exhibit G: You oogling married men. Go home to your wives. And love them. And tell them how outrageously sexy they are and how glad you are that you are their husband.

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