Sunday, October 12, 2008


I sat down to write just now. And there's alot that is swirling around in my thoughts. Not really anything of consequence. I am excited. I am anxious. For different reasons. And I've got a mess of a kitchen downstairs that I would LOVE to procrastinate on right about now.

So, two weeks ago I moved into this gorgeous house. This big, beautiful, lovely and painfully lonely house. I wasn't nearly as lonely in the last house. Maybe it had to do with memories of people I had shared it with... Robert, Heidi, Kristal, and Kim. It never seemed lonely. Here, my neighborhood is wonderful. I've got kids all around me. Wonderful families that really care about each other. But inside this big, seemingly empty house is space and air and quiet. I need a roommate. I would really like two. So hopefully in a few weeks, my blogs will be about roommate quirks. Whatever they are will be better than this sad quiet.

Maybe to combat the loneliness... maybe to provide a playmate for my baby dog... or maybe to maintain another connection to Max, I took in his sweet dog, Harley. He is a mess. He is matted and a bit needy. He's a wonderful dog. Affectionate and obedient. But he doesn't really like Wyatt all that much yet. I wonder if they will develop a bond. He seems so old for his five years. Maybe a little attention, some good food, and a haircut will do the trick.

I rode my beautiful KZ today. I love it. Now, when I say I rode it, I mean to say that I took it around the block. Not really much of a ride. But exciting enough for me. I really have never thought much of motorcycles. But this summer when Max asked if I wanted to learn, I didn't object. The second I let off the clutch and gave it some gas, I felt that beautiful rush of freedom and it's got me hooked. I can start it, stop it, and shift gears up and down, but that's about it. I can't wait until I've got enough confidence to go riding with Max. It will be so much fun!

Max leaves tomorrow for California. I am just beginning the task of taking him out of my thoughts bit by bit. Not totally. But I have got to get some emotional distance. So in the next few weeks I'll have to wrestle myself away from the phone when he calls. It's kind of like starting to eat vegetables when you aren't used to it. You have to force yourself to do something because you know, in the end, it will be better for you. Our relationship is so wonderful. I really love it. But it's also been creating a heavy heart. So I need to shake it.

Anyway, I got to meet little Noah Boll today. My dear friend, Jenn, has had her first baby. He's so wonderful. It's amazing to see a woman become a mother. What used to be so very important to her now takes a back seat to loving and providing for her baby. It's a precious thing. Anyway... I suppose I should get going on that disgusting kitchen downstairs. Or I could sink down into a tub of bubbles... that sounds wonderful.

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