Thursday, June 12, 2008

A Possible Dream

So whenever people refer to a 'dream' they have, it always strikes me funny. I've never really had a 'dream'. Perhaps when I was younger I had a dream. Frankly, it probably had a lot to do with finding a wonderful man to marry. Don't all little girls dream of being the beauty to compliment their knight in shining armor?

I realized this week that in behind all the thoughts I've had of daily goings on, that I have a dream. I didn't know it was a dream for the longest time. It really felt like an option more than a dream. But this week when I thought of it, I felt my heart pound and my spirit rest a little. Determination rose up in me and I knew that I had what it takes to do well. But my dream really isn't going to come easy. What dream does? It's going to take a series of choices to build myself up to a certain level that I would be able to ease into this dream comfortably.

I want to be a musician. Now, I've known music for a while. But I haven't really invested myself in it enough to feel fluent. It's a language and I've muddled with it but I haven't immersed myself in it and forced myself to think in it and converse in it. I want to be able to sing... to play music... it's the joy in my soul. I'm interested in confidence and musical stability. I'm interested in exploration and in falling in love with music. I'm interested in pushing myself musically to see the fruits of my labor. And if my voice should fall upon a heart that opens because of my song, then it will be a good day.

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