Tuesday, June 24, 2008

No One Calls Me Mommy

So... here's a thought. I might live out my days without knowing the feeling of a baby's kick... without hearing first words and seeing first steps. Without holding my own dear one on my chest as we fall asleep together. Without dirty diapers and stretch marks and temper tantrums.

How do I feel about this? I don't even know. Maybe it's not a big deal. Who is it that said every woman has to have a baby of her own? But what do I do if in twenty years I think back to this day and cry knowing what I could have lived? Will I feel empty? Why would I, really? I am nobody's mommy. How can I look into the future and guess what my life will be like? Maybe I will be with something spectacular and I won't miss what I think I will miss. Or if I end up so brokenhearted about it, will I be able to pick myself up and move on?

No comments: