Thinking

I got to hang out with Rob last night. He has been practicing using a walker. He did a great job. I was nervous the whole time that he was going to fall. He uses his left hand to fix the fingers of his right hand into a brace on the walker. Then he stands on his left foot to swing his hip so that his right foot moves forward. He puts his weight on it and then makes a quick step with his left foot. That little bit of mobility must be great for him. His mom said that there is a brace he wears around his waist to connect him to the walker. It gives him some extra support.

He also had to sign his name on some paperwork yesterday. His mom wrote out his name and he would copy it. Some of the letters he remembered. But he was thinking 'f' when the next letter was 't', and things like that.

Learning to walk and learning to write... Things he's known how to do the last 26 years of his life he is beginning to piece together again. Ten days until his birthday! The big 3-0.

Yesterday he was upset because he was trying to understand a medication switch. He knew that he used to take four pills a day - one every six hours. And now he was to take three a day. So he was just trying to figure out how many hours between each dose. But his mom mentioned it might be good if instead of going all the way down to three a day if he took 3 1/2 for a while. That totally pissed him off. He is hardly able to express himself and to say what he is thinking. And to see him express frustration makes it so hard. I tried to turn the conversation back to what he was trying to figure out first and once we got that settled, we addressed the 3 1/2 pills issue.

I'm getting much better around him. I don't cry as much and I think he appreciates that I talk to him just like I always have. He was getting pissed that his mom brought him vanilla icecream when he wanted 'black'. He told me to throw it away but I just said, 'Quit your bitchin'. This is all we have. Do you want some caramel on it?' And he ate it.

I am lucky to be here. I am glad he still wants me in his life. He brings me joy.