Wow. My heart feels super light. I woke up this morning almost drowning in tension. I had a long drive home to think about why I was conducting my life in this manner. And it all boiled down to expectation. A big concept in my life in the last year has been the idea of obligation. No one likes it. You know? I don't enjoy feeling obligated to take part in something. I want to take part in it because it enriches my life or because I give something of value to it. Whether it is a relationship or an activity or a job... whatever it is, I want absolutely no sense of obligation surrounding any of the choices that go into it. I know that's not logical all of the time. But I can certainly choose to live my life in a manner that decreases both the obligation that I feel and the obligation that others feel towards me.
So today, I let go of some ridiculous expectations I had for someone important in my life. Frankly, I don't even know what some of these expectations were, but I just felt a sense of constriction that wasn't positive at all. And as soon as I released him from these expectations, my tension disappeared. My heart was light. And I was ready to live my day in a beautiful way.
This is going to be a very good lesson to hold on to.