Third Grade Breakup

So here is how it goes. A conversation between me and my sweet student...

"My mom said I'm too young to have a boyfriend. So I have to dump him."

"Yeah. Third grade is pretty young for a serious relationship."

"Yeah. He rubs my back."

"That's bad news."

"I'm gonna dump him. COLE!!!!!! I GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!!! It's over. We were never really together to begin with." And she runs away laughing. With her two friends.

He stands there stunned for a moment. Eyes getting a little cloudy. Chance of precipitation increasing. And I step in. "Hey, Cole. What's up? I heard you beat Ben in a race yesterday."

"... Yeah. I did."

"You ok? What'd she say?"

"Nothing."

In runs the chick crew again. "COLE! Aren't you going to chase us?" Pause. Big smiles. And he takes off running after her and her friends just slow enough to give them a head start.

Hmmm... so that's how it's done.

Somebody's Watching...

So, I have a student teacher.

And it makes me painfully aware of every good teaching practice that I used to do that I now slack on. I have all these structures and strategies that I used to practice. Things that used to keep me organized. Ideas I used to want to develop. And now everything is in a crumpled pile at the recesses of my mind. Why did I stop these things? Time? Because I am lazy?

One year, I sewed a huge six by four foot fabric pocket chart with eight rows of nine colors in each row. For my recorder unit. Sewed it. No pattern. Do I even sew? I cut each pocket. Hemmed it. Lined it up. And sewed it onto a big black sheet. Do you know how many pockets that is? Seventy-two. And as I proudly made the finishing touches on my big project... I absentmindedly burned through it with a hot iron. Good. Fantastic.

My plan book. I have a beautiful way to keep track of what my kiddos are learning in six-week chunks. And when I use it, I am on top of the world. I line up all the activities with standards, benchmarks, and expectations to ensure that my kids are getting it all. It sits on my desk. And sits. I look at it. And it sits.

All my transition songs. I have songs for getting into a circle. Songs for lining up. Songs for getting things out. Songs for putting things away. Songs for keeping hands still. Songs for zipping your lips. These are songs that good music teachers use to make classroom management simple. Do I use them? Nah. Do I even teach songs, I wonder? I hate teaching songs. "Here, copy after me." How many times must I do that? That's not the only way to teach songs, of course. But it certainly is the default. I hate the default.

I am a good teacher. I know it. I am a really, really good teacher. And I could certainly be a better teacher if I could get myself together. Here's why I am a good music teacher... I try to be intentional about not shutting kids down. I try to make sure that they are encouraged enough to keep trying music even though they aren't perfect at it. I don't want them to give up before they even have given themselves a chance. My kids can sightread. My kids are thoughtful musicians. And excellent singers. I give my kids a chance to do things that most music teachers are scared to even think about. And those are things that they will remember for the rest of their lives.

But I don't teach enough songs. I do a crappy job teaching instrument families. And music history. I haven't taken my kids on a field trip. Integrating literature and music... not enough. International folk songs. Hmm. I don't make the older kids use their journals as much as I should. I haven't used my cool grouping technique in months. They love it. I suck at Orff technique.

Thanks, student teacher. I have a lot of work ahead of me.

Hopping a Date

So, I am going on the obligation date. Yes, it will be terrible. But there is one thing that will make it totally worth it. Having my friends hop it. Hopping a date means that you magically and 'mysteriously' show up at a date that your friend is on. There are a few techniques you can use when hopping a date.

A) Sit at another table and order your friend drinks. Remain anonymous.
B) Bring a pawn. The pawn's job is to step in on the date in order to cause an awkward, yet interesting circumstance to arise. It's kind of like punking, in a way. Unscripted drama.
C) Friends arrive, and upon finding where you are sitting, act astonished that you are there and ask to join you.

There are various drawbacks and benefits to the different options. And sometimes, even you may be unaware that your date is being hopped by your own friends. But it always results in a wonderful evening as long as your friends' intentions are good. Now, if you have terrible friends, that's another blog altogether....

How To Fold Laundry

Take the laundry out of the dryer. Mmmmm.... feel that? I love warm laundry. Put it somewhere that there is no dog hair. Take a carton of ice cream from the freezer. Find a spoon. A bigger spoon. Good. Prepare your first bite, but do not eat it. Fold one item of laundry. Eat a spoonful of ice cream. Fold another item. Mind you, an item of laundry can be any one thing... a dishcloth. A pair of pants. Eat a bite of ice cream. Mmmm.... oh yes. Oh. Socks. That counts for two. Two delicious creamy scoops. If you accidentally fold too many items, go back and eat an extra bite. Make it two extra bites. You might have folded three items in a row. You lost track. Hmm.... sheets. Sheets are big. You could make at least four shirts from the fabric in a sheet. And those ridiculous fitted sheets... crumple it up. Eat four bites. There is only one penalty. Brain freeze. In event of brain freeze, do NOT add another scoop. Keep folding item by item until brain freeze culminates.

Why Did I Say That?

So, this guy who is a friend of mine just called and asked if we could catch up over dinner sometime soon. I hastily said yes and we ended our phone call. Immediately after hanging up, I realized that this was a code for, 'Would you please go out on a date with me?'

Here is why I wish I had said no, or perhaps asked him to come out with a bunch of friends. BECAUSE HE IS SOCIALLY AWKWARD AND CREEPY. Is that enough information for you? Or do I need to describe exactly how awkward he is? He is not very technologically savvy, so I doubt he would read this. But if I wrote of the mortifying circumstances he underwent in my presence, it would be terribly embarrassing to him and I would hate to crush his pride. In short, he made an awkward advance towards me and I shut him down.

Now, because I ALREADY shut him down, I assumed that he was done with his attempt to woo me. However, I fear that if I accept his invitation for dinner that he will drone on about all the amazing awards and accolades that make him super human. He will show me pictures of himself climbing difficult routes and he will raise his eyebrows in awe of himself. Not once, but repeatedly. He will touch me and I will cringe. He may even try to lay his haughty and vainglorious lips upon my own. And as aversion courses through my veins, I will loathe the day I ever let the phrase, 'Sure, that sounds great' escape my lips.

Three Significant Events

I asked my friend the other day what the three most significant events of his life were. Heavy question. Not necessarily life-changing events, but life-defining. Perhaps it was a choice you made or something you encountered in your life that clarified your ideas and ways of living. Perhaps it changed everything.

Here are my three:

The failure of my marriage and the restoration of my friendship with my ex-husband. There were so many tiny facets of this situation that created infinite lessons. I overcame shame. I learned the value of communication. I learned independence. I lost friends and slowly built up a new family of friendships. I discovered forgiveness. I lost the treacherous fairytale image of marriage.

Walking with Rob through cancer treatment. I gained perspective and learned to develop priorities. Things that used to seem important no longer were. I learned that when you are in a dire circumstance, you can only do what you can do. There are things that can't be changed and there is no use struggling against them. I learned that humor can get you through the day. I learned how important faith is in my life.

I am having such a hard time agreeing on the third. I am not quite sure what situation was life-defining for me. I suppose choosing to go to Western State was a huge one. I am fairly sure it led to every relationship and every decision I made. Becoming a teacher has been a wonderful journey. Growing up in a deaf family and having responsibility from a young age. Dating Max and Rob F. also taught me about balance, communication, the character of men, the character of women, and about what kind of partner complements me best.

This is a great question. Perhaps one day when I am resigned to be a member of Match.com, I will ask this question of the curious men who fall prey to my profile.

Simple As WHAT Should Be?

I love the title of my blog. It comes from a song by Tristan Prettyman. I haven't heard it in a very long time. As I go back and read about the events that made up 2008 for me, I realize, NOTHING was simple in 2008. What in the hell am I talking about? I like to think of myself as a very low-drama, low-maintenance kind of female. I don't like starting stuff just to start stuff. I don't dislike very many people. I feel like I'm pretty mellow and go-with-the-flow. I like simplicity and authenticity. So why in the world was my life so topsy-turvy?! That is frustrating. Was it my doing? I certainly hope not. But I'm not so sure I want to blame anyone else for my lack of balance. If I really wanted balance and simplicity, I could have cut everything out of my life right away that threatened my parity.

But I just wanted a chance. I think that's why I managed my relationships why I did. Do I regret it? No. My friend, Nicole, said that I went into it with heart and soul. If I had been timid and lived only to protect myself, then I wouldn't really be living, right? Well, one day, maybe? One day that simplicity will all come back around. And for that, I will be grateful.