Monday, July 13, 2009

For Something Wonderful

I've been seeing him since November now. How did that all transpire?

He's thoughtful. Tender-hearted and giving. It's so funny. That was NOT the first impression I got from him. More like calloused and abrasive. I suppose I didn't give a great first impression either. Whoops. Luckily for me, he hung in there to see what was really inside.

This whole thing makes me a little nervous. Falling in love... I have no idea how you tell. Is it when you want him around to share days with? Is it when you are excited to hear his voice? Is it more like you are willing to work through the tough issues without running for the hills? I don't know at what point that happens. But I do feel like it happens faster when you think he's doing it too. When he's around, I feel extra lovely. And safe.

He's leaving, though. And what of that? Across the ocean for 9 months. I couldn't backpedal now. And gracefully bow my way out. I don't want to. Is it better to love and lose? I think I can say from experience, 'yes'. But can't I just opt out of the 'losing' and just stick with the first part of it all?

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