Resolve

So, New Year's Resolutions.... let's think... what sickens me about my own life? About how I conduct my daily goings-on? There's not much, really. But here is something I absolutely hate about myself: my tendency to procrastinate on things like bills. I do this because my life just goes on day to day and suddenly I find that I have not paid bills. I know they sit in my mailbox waiting for me. But I refuse to check the box because then that means I have a responsibility to open them and pay them. I typically have the money to pay them. I just don't do it. It's disgustingly irresponsible.

Dictionary.com says that resolve means to determine or to come to an earnest decision about. To convert or transform. To deal with or to settle. Musically, it indicates the movement from a state of dissonance into a state of consonance, or agreement. I am sick of this way of functioning. I need to deal with it... to transform it so that all the parts of my life come into agreement.

I know if I continue to let my life whizz by me without really being deliberate about things like paying bills and keeping my car in good condition, I will live in this perpetual state of stress. I can't do that anymore. So, I hereby resolve to change this terrible slacking behavior of mine. I resolve to pay bills on time and to develop a system in order to be productive in the mundane tasks of life that continue to drag me down.

I realize this is going to require me to become a little less laid-back and more anal about getting things done. I can't make excuses. I can't delay or postpone anymore. I've got to just get it done. I wonder how long I can endure.