Your WHAT?!

"My weiner tickles."

WHAT?! Did I really just hear that? Weiner. Who uses that word? Well, a five-year-old. A five-year-old with a bit of an odd sensation in his nether-region. I was at the grocery store the other day. I saw a package of what I would call hot dogs. They didn't really fit up next together perfectly like a package of Oscar Mayers. They look like they tumbled from above and nestled in next to each other. They were wrapped tightly in plastic. Want to know what the label said? Weiners.

Now, in German, you pronounce the full long vowel sound of the second vowel. So what we would pronounce as wee-ner, they might pronounce as wine-er. Fascinating.

What possessed him to blurt this out in class? Was this a thought that couldn't possibly lay dormant in the boundaries of his own mind? Was it such a powerful realization that it had to escape his mind and make it's way... firing neurons through his brain to let sounds and syllables bubble across his tongue... thrusting this word around as though it were a well-polished trophy? Weiner.

What do parents teach their kids to refer to their nether-parts as? Weiner? Cookie? Foo? Willy? Hoo-ha? The English language.