I constantly have imaginary conversations. Like this morning, I pulled up to fill up my car with gas. Across the lane was a man filling up his white Hummer.
Me: Excuse me.
Guy: Uhhh... yeah.
Me: Two questions. One, is that your Hummer? And, if it is, what made you decide to buy it?
Guy: Uh... well... YEAH. IT IS MY HUMMER. And... I WANT IT, so get out of here before I shove your nosy little self into the exit only side of this gas pump.
Me: You're a freak.
When I see someone who drives a Hummer, I automatically assume that he (because 90% of the time, it's going to be a 'he') is a chach. I honestly do not understand the thought process that goes into buying a Hummer. Everything about that vehicle screams "UNNECESSARY!!!!"
I get it. If you work hard and you have a lot of money, it's your choice what you do with it. But truly, I view Hummer drivers as some of the most selfish, thoughtless, pea-brained individuals of our era.
That's all I've got to say about that.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Finish Line In View
I almost cried. I could feel the excitement. Coming into the stadium, with everyone yelling... the finish line in view... it all welled up in me. But it didn't quite overflow. That's a good thing.
I ran the Bolder Boulder yesterday. My first race - 10 kilometers at about 5,400 feet above sea level. I knew it would be a challenge and I was determined to make it in the range that I'd set for myself. I had spent the last few weeks getting ready by pushing my distance higher. Truly, I've never known myself as a 'runner'. Just like I'd never known myself as a skiier. But this has been the year to push that boundary a little bit and to see where I get.
I had 6.2 miles to run. I ran the first mile in 9 minutes. A minute faster than I was used to running on the treadmill. Whoops. Pace setting. Shortly after that first mile, my stomach cramped up and I felt like I was going to throw up. Maybe it was that stupid first mile, but for the next two miles, I felt pretty awful. I took some energy gel, and chugged some gatorade and shortly, I felt better. In fact, I felt so much better. My pace was set. My music had picked up tempo and I was able to match it with my own steps. The people around me were so much fun, too. There were three painted green - one of which I crashed into, leaving my arm the shade of the Jolly Green Giant. In one of the neighborhoods I passed by, a lady yelled out, "You got it! Don't give up. Just set your pace and keep at it." That echoed in my thoughts for the rest of the race.
At one point, I had slowed to a walk. Someone ran by shouting, "Go, Adam!!" I realized he was yelling that for me. I had posted a sign on my back that said, "I am running in honor of CPT Adam Brink, who is running the BB 7,000 miles away". Immediately, I remembered Adam was running along with me that very second half-way across the world. A huge smile came over me and I picked up my pace again. It was so wonderful to know that he was there, too.
I maintained a run all the way up that final hill and into the stadium. It was awesome. At no point did I ever think I wasn't going to make it. I ended up missing my goal time by 30 seconds, but I was still super excited. It was my first race. I had a rough start, but ended up setting a solid pace. I only wish I could remember it with more detail. I get so focused on the task at hand. I have different things I fill my thoughts with so that I can finish strong, but I lose out on my surroundings and on the details of the race. But I raced up the final hill and as I came into the stadium, I came around to the finish line at full speed. Exhilarating.
It was an awesome experience. Really, just knowing that I can do something that before in my life I thought was out of my reach. So, on to the next goal... a triathlon in September and a half-marathon in October. Then I think I'll take it easy and stick to skiing and regular distances like 5Ks. But who really knows?
I ran the Bolder Boulder yesterday. My first race - 10 kilometers at about 5,400 feet above sea level. I knew it would be a challenge and I was determined to make it in the range that I'd set for myself. I had spent the last few weeks getting ready by pushing my distance higher. Truly, I've never known myself as a 'runner'. Just like I'd never known myself as a skiier. But this has been the year to push that boundary a little bit and to see where I get.
I had 6.2 miles to run. I ran the first mile in 9 minutes. A minute faster than I was used to running on the treadmill. Whoops. Pace setting. Shortly after that first mile, my stomach cramped up and I felt like I was going to throw up. Maybe it was that stupid first mile, but for the next two miles, I felt pretty awful. I took some energy gel, and chugged some gatorade and shortly, I felt better. In fact, I felt so much better. My pace was set. My music had picked up tempo and I was able to match it with my own steps. The people around me were so much fun, too. There were three painted green - one of which I crashed into, leaving my arm the shade of the Jolly Green Giant. In one of the neighborhoods I passed by, a lady yelled out, "You got it! Don't give up. Just set your pace and keep at it." That echoed in my thoughts for the rest of the race.
At one point, I had slowed to a walk. Someone ran by shouting, "Go, Adam!!" I realized he was yelling that for me. I had posted a sign on my back that said, "I am running in honor of CPT Adam Brink, who is running the BB 7,000 miles away". Immediately, I remembered Adam was running along with me that very second half-way across the world. A huge smile came over me and I picked up my pace again. It was so wonderful to know that he was there, too.
I maintained a run all the way up that final hill and into the stadium. It was awesome. At no point did I ever think I wasn't going to make it. I ended up missing my goal time by 30 seconds, but I was still super excited. It was my first race. I had a rough start, but ended up setting a solid pace. I only wish I could remember it with more detail. I get so focused on the task at hand. I have different things I fill my thoughts with so that I can finish strong, but I lose out on my surroundings and on the details of the race. But I raced up the final hill and as I came into the stadium, I came around to the finish line at full speed. Exhilarating.
It was an awesome experience. Really, just knowing that I can do something that before in my life I thought was out of my reach. So, on to the next goal... a triathlon in September and a half-marathon in October. Then I think I'll take it easy and stick to skiing and regular distances like 5Ks. But who really knows?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Gone Again
It was a whirlwind. Seemed like only a few short days. He came and he left. But it was so wonderful. I came home to Wyatt. No Adam to pick me up from school. Part of it feels very back-to-normal. I've been on a roll the last five months that he's been gone. So when he left this afternoon, my little heart broke and I wasn't ready to let him out of that comfortable feels-like-home last hug, but a few miles down the road - back to the normalcy of school and it felt just like it should, I suppose. A sense that everything was back to the 'normal' that I knew while he was gone.
But I step back into my quiet house and the only warm fuzzy man here is my wonderful dog... and it starts to get to me again. He left from my house to pick me up so we could go to the airport today... his shaving cream sitting on my counter. He left me one of his favorite shirts. A chair scooted out from the table where we had lunch. His footsteps still pressed into the carpet. The seat in my car still sitting far from the wheel just like he drives it.
That is how it should be. You wish that your time together would be well-spent and that you have such a great time that when he leaves, you are sad about all the things you will miss sharing. I already miss sharing this moment with him. Hearing him talk on the phone in the other room. I think it all comes down to knowing that you COULD do it all without him... the waking up, the enjoying the day, the big highs and lows and beautiful moments of the day... but you just don't want to.
But I step back into my quiet house and the only warm fuzzy man here is my wonderful dog... and it starts to get to me again. He left from my house to pick me up so we could go to the airport today... his shaving cream sitting on my counter. He left me one of his favorite shirts. A chair scooted out from the table where we had lunch. His footsteps still pressed into the carpet. The seat in my car still sitting far from the wheel just like he drives it.
That is how it should be. You wish that your time together would be well-spent and that you have such a great time that when he leaves, you are sad about all the things you will miss sharing. I already miss sharing this moment with him. Hearing him talk on the phone in the other room. I think it all comes down to knowing that you COULD do it all without him... the waking up, the enjoying the day, the big highs and lows and beautiful moments of the day... but you just don't want to.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Six Days
Just six days. That's all! I get to see Adam again in six days. I'm really excited to see him. I miss him so much. Sometimes it seems like the time has flown by... I've certainly not wasted it. That's for sure. Relationships, though, make me nervous. I think I'm past that "everything is perfect" phase. I am just not inclined to believe that any relationship can be perfect. Truly, I think that's a good spot to be in. There's not alot to be nervous about with us, though. It is what we make it. And we have a really wonderful relationship.
I think what I might be a little jittery about is just the fact that we have two weeks and that's it. All we've got is two tiny little weeks in the middle of nine months. I want everything to go well, of course, but I know that the best way to do it is just to enjoy every moment and milk every bit of joy out of what time we have rather than to force all kinds of fun into every second. I adore Adam.
The whole idea of not being able to look into the future has been echoing through my thoughts lately - both with work and with our relationship. It's scary not knowing what is coming around the corner. You get comfortable with where things are at. You see all the joy that you already have and it gets scary knowing that at some point things change - maybe for the better and maybe not. But I love what Adam told me earlier - that you just focus on the positive parts of the change.
I can't wait, though. He is the vanilla ice cream in my root beer float.
I think what I might be a little jittery about is just the fact that we have two weeks and that's it. All we've got is two tiny little weeks in the middle of nine months. I want everything to go well, of course, but I know that the best way to do it is just to enjoy every moment and milk every bit of joy out of what time we have rather than to force all kinds of fun into every second. I adore Adam.
The whole idea of not being able to look into the future has been echoing through my thoughts lately - both with work and with our relationship. It's scary not knowing what is coming around the corner. You get comfortable with where things are at. You see all the joy that you already have and it gets scary knowing that at some point things change - maybe for the better and maybe not. But I love what Adam told me earlier - that you just focus on the positive parts of the change.
I can't wait, though. He is the vanilla ice cream in my root beer float.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
World Wide Open
There's no better way to be thankful for your life than to live it fully. This January, I started Master's classes, training for a triathalon, and learning to ski. Everything about these three pursuits has challenged me and has caused me to change my perspective on who I am and what I can do. It's been an inspiring three months and it's not over.
I was having dinner with a friend last night. She is starting a new chapter in her life, or maybe not a new chapter, but a new journey. She and I are in similar situations - I will be starting a new job in August. One that I have a passion for, but very little formal training. It's always scary starting something new. Adam had excellent advice on this. He said - you can not read the future so you have to focus on the exciting part of the change and not the scary part. That's true about anything. We get so caught up into defining ourselves with what we HAVE been that we forget to open our minds up to new possibilities.
I have NEVER been a runner. I hated it. It would be a miracle for me to run a continuous mile. In January, I started running, and now I'm up to four miles for a regular workout. Now, I'm a runner.
I have NEVER been a skiier. I thought I was terrible and I didn't want to spend money on something I was terrible at. My first time skiing this season was December 31. I miserably and awkwardly and terribly struggled my way down green runs before I painfully surrendered for the day. Yesterday, I took my first black diamond. I'm confident and successful with it. I'm a skiier!!
I've never seen myself as a principal. A leader, yes. A principal, no. But there have been a number of people that I admire that have repeatedly suggested to me that I need to pursue that option. So here I am. Who knows where it will take me?
I am completely excited for the journey. There are scary parts. But I am hopeful. I feel now that I haven't truly used my body or my life to its utmost. I am so thankful that my legs can do what they can do and that my mind can do what it can do. It's an inspiring chapter in my life. The world is wide open. I am thrilled to be a part of it.
I was having dinner with a friend last night. She is starting a new chapter in her life, or maybe not a new chapter, but a new journey. She and I are in similar situations - I will be starting a new job in August. One that I have a passion for, but very little formal training. It's always scary starting something new. Adam had excellent advice on this. He said - you can not read the future so you have to focus on the exciting part of the change and not the scary part. That's true about anything. We get so caught up into defining ourselves with what we HAVE been that we forget to open our minds up to new possibilities.
I have NEVER been a runner. I hated it. It would be a miracle for me to run a continuous mile. In January, I started running, and now I'm up to four miles for a regular workout. Now, I'm a runner.
I have NEVER been a skiier. I thought I was terrible and I didn't want to spend money on something I was terrible at. My first time skiing this season was December 31. I miserably and awkwardly and terribly struggled my way down green runs before I painfully surrendered for the day. Yesterday, I took my first black diamond. I'm confident and successful with it. I'm a skiier!!
I've never seen myself as a principal. A leader, yes. A principal, no. But there have been a number of people that I admire that have repeatedly suggested to me that I need to pursue that option. So here I am. Who knows where it will take me?
I am completely excited for the journey. There are scary parts. But I am hopeful. I feel now that I haven't truly used my body or my life to its utmost. I am so thankful that my legs can do what they can do and that my mind can do what it can do. It's an inspiring chapter in my life. The world is wide open. I am thrilled to be a part of it.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Giving It Everything
I tell my students all the time: You have to take advantage of your education. They know they will only get out of it what they put into it. I don't tolerate kids remaining distracted. Everyone has got to dig in and do what they can to make the most of the opportunity to learn.
This is no different with my own education. I just started my Master's program. I am super excited to be back in school... digging into everything new that I have to learn. Well, I've been less than enthused with the instructors so far. Perhaps I'm making my judgement prematurely. But I expect alot. I bust my butt to get all the reading done and to turn in quality projects. So I expect my instructors to have excellent lessons and to facilitate conversation in a way that we will be able to have a working understanding of the material.
Because of this, I've found it vital to develop a strong work ethic in my studies. I want to know as I move into a new career, that I am intellectually prepared to address issues with my colleagues. I feel like there may be students in my program that are content with the minimum. But that's just not acceptable to me. I will be highly prepared, confident, and ready to take on the tasks before me without the regret that I didn't put EVERYTHING into my education.
This is no different with my own education. I just started my Master's program. I am super excited to be back in school... digging into everything new that I have to learn. Well, I've been less than enthused with the instructors so far. Perhaps I'm making my judgement prematurely. But I expect alot. I bust my butt to get all the reading done and to turn in quality projects. So I expect my instructors to have excellent lessons and to facilitate conversation in a way that we will be able to have a working understanding of the material.
Because of this, I've found it vital to develop a strong work ethic in my studies. I want to know as I move into a new career, that I am intellectually prepared to address issues with my colleagues. I feel like there may be students in my program that are content with the minimum. But that's just not acceptable to me. I will be highly prepared, confident, and ready to take on the tasks before me without the regret that I didn't put EVERYTHING into my education.
Valentine's No-Surprise
Valentine's Day is tomorrow and there really is only one thing that I want... for Adam to be here. But 7,000 miles away is a little far for that and I'm not going to get my wish. Today, he told me that he had gone out to dinner with his soldiers. They had all sent something home for their sweeties. Oops. Adam hadn't.
Now, a week ago or so, I thought to myself... if Adam doesn't take this chance to do something special to let me know that he cares about me... I'm going to be upset! He's so far away. Surely he thought of me, right?
This isn't the first time this has happened. That's just how Adam is. And frankly, I understand it. The obligation to buy somebody something on a specific day is a little obnoxious. Wouldn't it mean more if I just bought him a gift because I wanted to and not because there was some sort of obligation to do so? I get it.
Well, I told myself I was going to be upset about it. So, I tried to stir myself up. To get all bothered and annoyed. But it hasn't worked. I would just like to get huffy and impatient. But all I can think of is how good he is to me. How he loves me. And how wonderful he is. There's nothing to BE upset about.
So, Happy Valentine's Day to me. I have a fantastic man.
Now, a week ago or so, I thought to myself... if Adam doesn't take this chance to do something special to let me know that he cares about me... I'm going to be upset! He's so far away. Surely he thought of me, right?
This isn't the first time this has happened. That's just how Adam is. And frankly, I understand it. The obligation to buy somebody something on a specific day is a little obnoxious. Wouldn't it mean more if I just bought him a gift because I wanted to and not because there was some sort of obligation to do so? I get it.
Well, I told myself I was going to be upset about it. So, I tried to stir myself up. To get all bothered and annoyed. But it hasn't worked. I would just like to get huffy and impatient. But all I can think of is how good he is to me. How he loves me. And how wonderful he is. There's nothing to BE upset about.
So, Happy Valentine's Day to me. I have a fantastic man.
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