Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Gone Again

It was a whirlwind. Seemed like only a few short days. He came and he left. But it was so wonderful. I came home to Wyatt. No Adam to pick me up from school. Part of it feels very back-to-normal. I've been on a roll the last five months that he's been gone. So when he left this afternoon, my little heart broke and I wasn't ready to let him out of that comfortable feels-like-home last hug, but a few miles down the road - back to the normalcy of school and it felt just like it should, I suppose. A sense that everything was back to the 'normal' that I knew while he was gone.

But I step back into my quiet house and the only warm fuzzy man here is my wonderful dog... and it starts to get to me again. He left from my house to pick me up so we could go to the airport today... his shaving cream sitting on my counter. He left me one of his favorite shirts. A chair scooted out from the table where we had lunch. His footsteps still pressed into the carpet. The seat in my car still sitting far from the wheel just like he drives it.

That is how it should be. You wish that your time together would be well-spent and that you have such a great time that when he leaves, you are sad about all the things you will miss sharing. I already miss sharing this moment with him. Hearing him talk on the phone in the other room. I think it all comes down to knowing that you COULD do it all without him... the waking up, the enjoying the day, the big highs and lows and beautiful moments of the day... but you just don't want to.

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