You are chubby. And so I have been feeding you less than usual. So I feel like you are more inclined to do naughty things when I am around. I admit to being slightly suspicious of your 'alone at the house' activities.
So last night... or this morning, I guess... when I got home I was surprised to see the house was in perfect order. Trash cans in place. Nobody had found any miscellaneous item to chew up. Good dogs. So I went to bed. And so did you.
What exactly do you think you can sneak by me? I'm a pretty sharp cookie, Harley-Who. Have you sneakified things in the past? I am generally unobservant of important details. Well, this one didn't slide by me. A candy cane. Who knew dogs liked candy canes? Wasn't there a way you could eat it to avoid chunks of it getting stuck in the fur around your mouth? And you thought you fooled me. Negatory, Harley. I am a human. You are a dog. I am better than you.