Friday, September 21, 2007

My Pursuit

How does God not get sick of us? Well, I guess He does. The whole, "Hey, Noah, build an ark" thing and then there was that Ninevah situation. I'm wondering if God would let me know if He was sick of me. Maybe if I was listening a little better.

For my whole life, I've been the person who has known God and pursued Him wholeheartedly... then something happens and I back off. Am I a back-and-forther? Maybe I don't feel like it's worth it. I know it's worth it. But do I feel like it's worth it? And does it really matter how I feel? How I feel changes. So how much weight should I put in THAT? I've gone through periods of my life where much of the time, I'm thinking about and talking with God. And it's beautiful. He blasts His truth straight to the heart of me and it brings me to tears. Sometimes it has been something simple. I remember feeling one time that He painted the skies new each day for us. What a sign of love! I know many times in my life God has spoken to me - reassuring my heart, prompting me to pray, gently correcting me.

And then bit by bit, I begin to slack off and I forget how beautiful it was to be in contact with the One who knows me best. Will I ever be someone who pursues Him regardless of her situation in life? If I choose to. And if I don't, will I be convinced that I've spent my life well?

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